I play Scrabble online,
You identify yourself with what’s called a handle.
Deciphering handles is like reading vanity license plates.
Such as shroom37, ldyglfer, zzzzzz, reinbow, ecowarrior.
You can chat with your opponent or anyone else using instant messaging,
You can have a profile, listing things about yourself,
Only five percent of the players have profiles.

There are lots of nice players,
They greet you at the beginning and wish you good luck.
There are even more not so nice players who do not.
One man in his twenties made suggestive statements throughout the game,
Even after I told him I was old enough to be his grandmother.
After the game I noplayed him,
Preventing further contact from him to me.

Some people need to win at all costs,
They use anagrammers which are against the rules.
You know because they’re very slow between plays,
And come up with words like zoril, tryma, and poind.

Some people don’t have a large vocabulary,
One player challenged every word I played, even apron and relents.
Some players, when they challenge my correct word, apologize.

Lots of grandmothers play,
Their handles are grandmadeb, grandmabarb, granofsix (grandmother of six I presume).

Some people are really funny,
One woman accused her husband of bugging her,
He asked what’s for dinner.

Many players are pet owners.
Errant letters on the board mean the cat or dog had gotten on the keyboard.
No snakes yet.

Many are addicted to the game, and freely admit it.
We can always manage to squeeze in a game.
You can set your time from three minutes to forty-five minutes apiece,
I like twenty-minute games,
But have played five-minute games.
It’s like an adrenalin rush.

We live interesting lives.
I’ve played a retired nun, a treasure hunter (with a metal detector), and many teachers,
A newspaper man, a caterer, and a .

It’s a national pastime in Canada,
For a while every third person I played was Canadian.
We live all over the world,
I’ve played people in Australia, France, Scotland, the Fiji Islands, Israel, Nova Scotia, all in English,
One can play in French and other languages.

Some people are so serious about winning.
If I beat a player with a rating higher than mine
They’ll immediately challenge me to another game.
And if they win, they log off quickly so I can’t challenge them.

I wouldn’t.